"I'm Mary and I'm Martha, all at the same time-
I'm sitting at His feet, and yet I'm dying to be recognized-
I am the picture of contentment, and I am dissatisfied -
Why is it easy to work, but hard to rest sometimes?"
-Audrey Assad, Lament
It's so, so easy for me to see myself here. Longing to sit at the Lord's feet and listen to his words, be captured by his gaze... to soak up as much of his love and wisdom as I can. Yet I'm dying to do something great, something that seems important, something worth recognizing.
The picture of contentment - God has blessed me with a wonderful life, full of amazing people and great things. Yet I always feel the need to do something more. Sometimes I feel quite inadequate, and I admit, sometimes I don't quite know how to just stop working - whether it's "work" work, doing stuff at home, or even blogging. It's so much easier for me to work, than it is for me to rest... and even when I am physically at rest, my mind wants to continue working instead of resting.
I get restless; I want to keep running, yet I'm tired of running. All at the same time. Obviously, there are times and places to be both Martha and Mary, but balancing those roles can be so difficult - maybe more for some of us than others. I definitely fall into that category, and all I'd have to do to prove it to you would be to tell you about an average day during my week (I'll spare the details - you'll have to trust me on this one). You could say I don't know what to do if I don't have something to do - and I'm generally quite content having plenty of things to think about/get done.
Still, I know I must find that balance - and be Mary, too - and this Lent has really reminded me of that. In the midst of all the busy-ness and craziness that has been going on, I have been led to realize that the balancing act involves both God's grace, and conscious effort by me. Ha, I just wish my conscious effort was better! But, I suppose, practice makes perfect...
+peace, and all good!
The picture of contentment - God has blessed me with a wonderful life, full of amazing people and great things. Yet I always feel the need to do something more. Sometimes I feel quite inadequate, and I admit, sometimes I don't quite know how to just stop working - whether it's "work" work, doing stuff at home, or even blogging. It's so much easier for me to work, than it is for me to rest... and even when I am physically at rest, my mind wants to continue working instead of resting.
I get restless; I want to keep running, yet I'm tired of running. All at the same time. Obviously, there are times and places to be both Martha and Mary, but balancing those roles can be so difficult - maybe more for some of us than others. I definitely fall into that category, and all I'd have to do to prove it to you would be to tell you about an average day during my week (I'll spare the details - you'll have to trust me on this one). You could say I don't know what to do if I don't have something to do - and I'm generally quite content having plenty of things to think about/get done.
Still, I know I must find that balance - and be Mary, too - and this Lent has really reminded me of that. In the midst of all the busy-ness and craziness that has been going on, I have been led to realize that the balancing act involves both God's grace, and conscious effort by me. Ha, I just wish my conscious effort was better! But, I suppose, practice makes perfect...
+peace, and all good!
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