storms

October 29. It had been nearly a year.

Nearly a year since she’d found herself on the edge of unbelief. She’d known her part… and then found it meant nothing, because that part had lacked love, had lacked heart.

“Far off hymns and funeral marches, sound the same again… my ears are worn and weary strangers, in a strange land, and I need a new song, yeah, I need a new song… And all I am is breath and vapor and shadow, and all I have is what I need, this I know… that I need a new song… yeah, I need a new song…” (Audrey Assad, "New Song")

She found a new song – and with it came incredible journeys she still didn’t understand. Maybe she never would. Not in this life, at least.

And then, in the midst of one of those journeys, a storm hit – nowhere near hurricane grade, but enough to knock her out of equilibrium. She’d found difficulty in weathering the storm, and spent several weeks reeling, trying to hold on, trying to keep her head above water, and just when she was ready to let go and slip beneath the waves, a stronger hand pulled her back. She was ashamed of her failures in weathering the storm so poorly, but at least ready to start moving forward again.

It’s a learning process, she reminded herself. Learning to love past emotion, and learning to keep the faith, even in the dark.

+Peace and good.

Prayers for all of my friends in the midst of the hurricane on the East Coast – may God’s protection be with you!

peace and good: St. Francis of Assisi

"Most high, glorious God, illumine the darkness of my heart..."

St. Francis was much more than a half-bald (as he is typically depicted in backyard bird baths) holy man who wore sackcloth, talked to birds, and tamed wolves. He was born to a wealthy merchant, and grew up living the carefree existence of a wealthy young man. After experiencing a major conversion during a serious illness, he gave up that carefree existence and severed his connections to his family and their wealth. He moved beyond existence, to life - a life lived in radical abandonment to the will of God, in service to the "least of these" - the lepers, the poor - and in bringing the Gospel to every living creature he could find.

Yes, this included birds and other animals, and many such stories about St. Francis were recorded in his lifetime. His respect for all of God's creation led to his being proclaimed patron saint of animals, and ecology, and this image of Francis is the most immortalized in popular culture today. It's a wonderful image, and I love the St. Francis birdbaths just like everyone else does, but I think it's rather unfortunate that so few people know "the rest of the story."

Francis embraced poverty - giving up all wealth, caring for lepers, begging for alms. He embraced the suffering that accompanied his poverty and asceticism - with joy and peace. He struggled, to be sure, but he never let any struggle separate him from God.

He preached the love of Christ through his rule of life - even more than by the words that came from his mouth.
Thinking about words, though: St. Francis was known to greet people with the words "pace e bene" - the Italian translates as "peace and good" - and has become a Franciscan greeting, of sorts. If you've been hanging around here much, you've noticed that I use it in closing my blog posts - I love what those words convey.

So, in that spirit: peace and good, friends. May our prayer echo that of St. Francis - that God will illumine the darkness of our hearts - so we may truly consider the depth of love found in the sacrifice of Christ.