physics by the pool

I love summer weekends. This morning, I ate breakfast poolside - it was a perfect, calm morning, and still cool enough to enjoy a cup of hot tea. Times like these often remind me of the line in one of the Psalms (don't remember which right offhand) that says to God - "You crown the year with your goodness..." so true, indeed.

Part of my morning by the pool involved catching up a bit on my currently favorite magazine - wait for it, wait for it... Scientific American. Yes, I am a sci geek, but you knew that already. In any case, it's one of the only magazines I read, but I'm so busy with a million other things, I'm usually a month or two behind in reading issues.

I'm not a physicist, though I find physics quite fascinating, and this morning I was particularly intrigued by an article discussing some ideas surrounding a unified physics. If that sounds like Greek, don't worry, I won't go into the details in this post; but if you're interested in the article itself, you can find a preview here.

The article discussed some current issues in particle physics, particularly with respect to work being done at the Large Hadron Collider (a.k.a. the LHC, in Switzerland). Yes, this is the collider that some people thought would create a black hole and destroy the world when it became operational a few years ago; obviously, we're all still here, and that's another discussion for another time. Aside from its supposed apocalyptic potential, the LHC has also made news for its use in the search for the Higgs boson - better known to some as the "God particle." Again, this is another discussion for another time, but the Higgs boson being nicknamed the "God particle" has absolutely nothing to do with this particle being the origin of life, or God, or anything like that - the story behind the nickname is much more mundane than that - that's not what I want to talk about tonight, though.

The LHC hasn't found the Higgs particle yet. Of course, there is the possibility it might not exist. There's also the possibility that the LHC has detected the Higgs, but it's buried in data, and the scientists working on the project haven't uncovered its signature yet. Or, its signature is different that what is expected.

What the whole problem may come down to, and what was discussed briefly in the article I was reading this morning, is that the problem may really come down to detection. Currently, all efforts to detect the Higgs particle - and which are used to detect many other particles - are indirect observations. Researchers are looking for a signature, a trail, left by these particles, because they cannot observe the particles themselves, directly. Quite simply, the detectors available for these experiments cannot directly "see" what they're looking for - they only see the evidence that gets left behind. I'm sure technology will eventually advance to improve this, but it's not there yet.

As a spectroscopist, this is something that I'm familiar with. So often, we are detector-limited - the electronics we have in the lab detect finite energy ranges, at finite resolutions. Sometimes, in order to identify the presence of a certain element or compound, we have to look for its "signature" in another element or compound. Indirect detection.

For Christians, this is something we're also familiar with. We're "detector-limited" in many ways... we don't "see" God, but we see his signature in our lives and the lives of those around us. It's like that classic question, can you see the wind? No, but you can feel it, and you can see its effects. Indirect detection, if you will.

But sometimes, we're also "detector-limited" by our own hearts and minds - we only see what we want to see, we only love what we want to love - and not what God wants us to see and love... all of his creation, and all of his people. We don't have to wait for technology to improve to be able to see and love the way God wants us to. All we have to have are willing and open hearts.

+Peace and good.

over the waters

What I thought would be a short (by my standards) pause in blogging, as I mentioned last week, ended up being much longer (again, by my standards). Here I am, it's after 11:00 on Thursday night, and I'm writing my first post since Monday.

Apparently, I needed the break. For the past few weeks, I've just been... so... tired. I guess it's probably a combination of poor air quality due to all the fires that have been active in this region, summer allergies, and maybe the heat, too, although that usually doesn't bother me at all. But I've been mentally and somewhat spiritually tired as well, and like I said, apparently, I needed the break. I needed to step back, to breathe, to read, to sleep, to write (away from the computer). 

Side note: while I was gone, the blog hit, and then exceeded, 2000 views! Woot! 

Okay, end of jubilatory moment. :D Back to the point. Which was what, again, you ask? 

Well... 

I'm currently reading the book Jesus of Nazareth (by Pope Benedict XVI - a.k.a. "B16" for short) with a few friends - and we are attempting to discuss it every week. We just started this effort, and are in various stages of reading/trying to read the first couple of chapters. In the first chapter, B16 discusses the Baptism of Christ by St. John the Baptist in the Jordan River. He brings up some interesting points about the nature of Baptism, and one of them in particular really stuck with me: the idea that Baptism is about death and life - about death and resurrection. 

When (as Catholics or Christians of any denomination) think about Baptism, I think we can intuitively make the connection between Baptism and death/life or death/resurrection - because Baptism is all about leaving your old life, your old way of being, behind, and accepting new life in Christ - resurrection, as it were. It is a dying to the "old self," and being reborn. 

What we don't always consider is that water is just as much a symbol of death as it is of life. As B16 says in Jesus of Nazareth, "The ancient mind perceived the ocean as a permanent threat to the cosmos, to the earth; it was the primeval flood that might submerge all life." Water was seen as a destructive force, and of course, we know water can indeed be destructive (we've probably all seen reports from FL in recent days about flooding from the tropical storm they've been battling with) - just like fire (and I'm sure we've all seen reports, particularly from CO, over the past few days, about the destruction wreaked by wildfires there). But on the average, particularly for those of us who live in the desert, we tend to see water more as a symbol of life and less as a symbol of death. 

So how intriguing (and perceptive of the Church in her liturgies) is it that, in the Prayers of the Faithful read at funeral Masses, the first prayer is, "In Baptism, (name of deceased) received the light of Christ. Scatter the darkness now, and lead him/her over the waters of death." Acknowledgment of water as a symbol of death. But --- remember that, in order to die in the water, you must be submerged in it - you have to drown there. 

"Lead them over the waters of death." 

Over them. Not through them. Over them. The prayer acknowledges water as a symbol of death - but also acknowledges that this baptized person may pass over that symbol of death - to eternity. 

When the baptized experience physical death, we trust God to lead us over the waters of eternal spiritual death - because that has already been conquered, through death and rebirth in the waters of Baptism. We go through the water at Baptism, to cross over the water at death. (With quite a bit of falling and getting up and all of those things in between!)

It vaguely reminds me of the words to a hymn I love to hear at Mass - "Shepherd me, oh God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death, into life..."

+Peace and good. 

Please pray for all those who have been affected by the wildfires that have been so destructive in recent days - as well as for those affected by flooding. I have family living in CO Springs who were evacuated from their home earlier this week because of the Waldo Canyon Fire; thanks be to God, their home was not destroyed, but many others were. 

St. John the Baptist

Yesterday was the feast of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist.

St. John the Baptist... a saint, who was a saint because he pointed to Christ with his entire being, with every breath, every word, yes, even with his blood.

St. John the Baptist was a saint because he understood that it wasn't about him. It was about Jesus, his cousin, the child of Mary, the God-man whose way he was sent to prepare.

We don't always end up being heralds of Christ in ways we anticipate. Life has plenty of twists and turns, and sometimes we find ourselves somewhere unexpected, doing things we'd never considered before.

Perhaps St. John never thought he'd find himself standing in the Jordan, baptizing the Son of God.
Perhaps he never thought he'd find himself called to martyrdom.

Whatever he did or did not anticipate happening in his life, he accepted it with grace, and glorified God through all of it - pointing people to Christ in the process. He rolled with the punches, and didn't think twice about taking the blows, embracing the cross when taking the blows ended up requiring his life.

It's something we should all strive for. Every. Single. Day.

Think about the people in your life. Is there someone, or are there a few "someones," who point you toward Christ through the way they live their lives? Who are the people that roll with the punches, who take life as it comes - with grace - who reflect the peace and love of God, no matter what situation they're in? These people herald the presence of Jesus the way St. John the Baptist did. They show us how to live and how to die, they show us how to suffer, how to struggle in faith and hope and love... And so it should be with us... that through our lives, we may show others how to live and how to die, how to suffer, how to struggle in faith and hope and love. St. John the Baptist, pray for us!

+Peace and good.

recollection

I think all of us reach points at which it becomes necessary to "pause and ponder." To recollect, think, and consider life and everything in it. 

Lately, I seem to be meeting up with these points much more often. Perhaps it's because time seems to be forever speeding up, or because when I thought things might slow down a bit at work and home everywhere in between, they became more busy than ever. Whatever the reason, I reached another of these recollection points this week, and I felt that the blog needed to be part of my "pause." 

I'm sure I'll be back from pause mode in another day or two at worst. In the meantime, if you're reading this, I hope you are having a beautiful Saturday. I'm headed back to a glass of wine and catching up with couple of issues of Scientific American. ;-)

+Peace and good. 

the longest day of the year.

Daylight... warm sunshine. Things she craved - loving their abundance in summer, and rueing their relative absence in winter.

But this was summer, not winter - warm, bright, sunny - bright blue skies lasting for hours and only fading in late evening.

Yesterday had been the longest day of the year - well, really, the longest daytime or daylight of the years - and today, the first day of summer. She sat in her backyard, looking up at the still bright blue sky of early evening, recalling how, several months earlier when daylight had been much shorter, she sat in this same spot and gazed up at the night sky - the resplendent beauty of the stars, glittering in the darkness.

This evening, a warm breeze wafted through the trees and a windchime played its slow melody. A few clouds drifted through the blue sky above. Trees, flowers, kissed by warm sunshine - the resplendent beauty of the earth in summertime.

How is it that these long days seem so short, and the short days of winter, so long? she wondered...

be perfect.

"Be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Mt. 5:48)

Perfection is a concept that gets passed around in all kinds of fake ways in our culture today... can you think of a few?

Hmmm... physical beauty (i.e., photoshopped and/or surgically enhanced beauty) = perfection

lots of money = perfection
etc... etc...

In other words, we often equate superficial or material things with perfection.

How often do we think about perfection in the context of the gospel passage the above quote is drawn from? In this passage, Christ is exhorting the disciples to treat people with equality and love, regardless of who they are or how they feel about them - "If you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?" - basically, because God "causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust" - in other words, God loves even those who do not return that love.

So really, love = perfection.

Of course, that's hard. It's much easier to treat people we like with kindness and love - and much harder to do so in the case of those we don't like.

But God never said it would be easy. He just said... be perfect... love. Tall order, eh?


+Peace and good.


And PS... I probably won't be near the blog tomorrow... so I'll catch you all on Thursday.

fides et scientia: Teilhard de Chardin

I've been rather neglectful of the scientific side of the blog lately... so in the spirit of the intermingling of faith and science... 

Is anyone out there familiar with Pierre Teilhard de Chardin? ... More appropriately, Father Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ - as he was a Jesuit priest - and a scientist. On the scientific side, he was a trained paleontologist who was among the discoverers of Peking Man in China. On the theological side, he mixed his scientific and religious philosophies - and for that, found himself in hot water with his contemporaries in the Church. 

Among his views were a less literal interpretation of the book of Genesis, which was certainly not a denial of God creating the earth, but presented a different approach to "how it all happened." He also postulated that humanity was gradually moving toward a kind of collective consciousness - a type of mental/spiritual evolution toward what he termed the Omega Point - i.e., toward God (this is a topic which deserves a post all its own in the future). So yes, it's easy to see how Teilhard de Chardin's ideas were seen as controversial, particularly during the early to mid twentieth century, when he was busy publishing some of them - one of his noted books, The Phenomenon of Man, was released after his death, in 1955, but had actually been completed in 1930, and its publication prohibited. 

Note: I am not a theologian, and am not exhaustively familiar with all of Teilhard de Chardin's thought and writings - so I am not claiming that all of his ideas are theologically sound. However, I do find many of his ideas to be quite fascinating - and as a scientist, I have great respect for his efforts to work as a scientist and as a man of faith - and to find common ground between the two. He was a rare and brilliant man. 

I also think it is interesting that many within the Church - including Pope Benedict XVI, Blessed Pope John Paul II, and Christoph Cardinal Schonborn, among others, have commented on his theories, and praised his efforts to bridge the perceived gap between faith and science. Cardinal Schonborn has referred to Fr. Teilhard de Chardin as a "mystic of evolution" because of his love of Christ and fascination with evolutionary science - and his view of evolution as not only a material, but a psychological and spiritual process, as well. This evolutionary mysticism is reflected in Teilhard de Chardin's own words: 

"The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire."

Go back and read that quote again - particularly the last part - "And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire." 

Whether you think he was brilliant, or you think he was nuts, one thing is certain: this Jesuit's ideas can definitely make you think.

+Peace and good.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, especially my own, of course!

I think we all know that good, strong fathers are vitally important to how we all grow into adulthood and live our lives, and therefore, good, strong fathers are part of the foundation of society. Hopefully, we all pray for our dads - they certainly deserve and need our prayers(!!), and for the other men in our lives who are fathers, as well, whether they are our husbands, friends, brothers, etc., etc.!

I could go on about the importance of fatherhood, like I go on about so many other things around here, but instead, I'm going to leave you with a link tonight to a quick read that basically sums up everything I could've said, and then some. So, peace and good to you all, and now... on with "The Role of Fathers in the Family" - enjoy!  :-)

new mexico, i love you!

If you're in ABQ, you probably know that this weekend, we're celebrating NM's statehood centennial with a big party - Centennial Summerfest - downtown. In light of that, and in honor of the state I love:

New Mexico... a land of many colors: red and green (chile, of course), turquoise (our state gemstone, and one of my favorites), brilliant blue (that amazing sky), watermelon pink (the Sandias at sunset!), 

New Mexico was admitted to statehood just over 100 years ago - on January 6, 1912. I'm glad that as a state, we've taken the entire year to celebrate this important milestone, and remind ourselves of the beauty of the state we live in, and everything it has to offer - and to share that beauty with those who haven't experienced it yet! 

However, I also think that, in this centennial year, we should keep in mind one of the reasons New Mexico was only admitted to statehood 100 years ago. It's certainly not because there was no one here - New Mexico has been populated by its native cultures for many centuries, and by the Spanish for hundreds of years - Albuquerque celebrated its tricentennial a few short years ago. 

There were many reasons New Mexico's statehood was delayed - a quick Google search will yield a full complement of factors, for those who are interested. It is true, though, that one of those reasons had to do with the level of poverty among many citizens of this state at the time. That poverty may not be as widespread now as it was then, but it is still here. The 2010 Census indicated that nearly 20% of New Mexicans live below the poverty level - that's a pretty sobering statistic. There are many among us who still live in poverty, who still struggle with not knowing where their next meal will come from, or how they will provide for their basic needs.

Poverty in and of itself is a terrible thing, but it also leads to other things that tear our society down - things like violence. Things like human trafficking. Things that come about when people who are desperate to get by resort to desperate measures to do so, or fall victim to those who prey upon their desperation. Lives are destroyed in the process.

No, there's not an easy solution to the challenges we face, and there aren't necessarily good answers for all of the hard questions these things pose. But as members of the same human family and children of the same God, I think we do have a responsibility to help those we can, when we can, in whatever way we can.

This is my home - perhaps it is yours, too. I love it here, for all its greatness and all its flaws - it may sound crazy to some, but there is really nowhere else I'd rather live. It is a place of both unique beauty and unique challenges - beauty that we must protect, and challenges that we must stare down and solve.

Here's to the next hundred years being the best yet!

true love: the Sacred Heart of Jesus

LOVE. True love.
The heart of Christ bleeds for us, pierced by our sins.
But that heart, pierced by our sins, burns with an everlasting love that has the power to free us from our sins - if we are willing to accept it.
The heart of Christ burns for us - for all of us - regardless of who we are, or how well we follow him.

Have you ever stopped and really, seriously considered the human heart of our divine God? To me, the fact that Christ chose to reveal to us his Sacred Heart is not only beautiful and wonderful and amazing (and it is all of those things, and more), it is the ultimate reminder of his sharing of our humanity, and also our sharing in the life of God. We all love, and because we love, we also suffer.

Christ loves, and because of his love, he suffered - and not only did he suffer, but he chose suffering - he chose that sacrifice. He's God. He didn't have to choose the cross, but he did - to show us his incredible love - and to leave us an example to follow: to love as he loves.

Would that we might love as Christ loves, to strive to love everyone we meet, no matter how difficult they are, or how different they are from ourselves. Would that we might love as Christ loves, and thus learn to respect and value every human life, to recognize their God-given dignity and treat them justly; to love others, even when we don't particularly like them, and even when they persecute us. In these journeys we call our lives, may we all learn to love with hearts like Christ's.

This blog is dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, so that makes today its feast day! :-)
Today is also a day when we should make a special effort to pray for our priests, and for vocations. We always need more good and holy men to bring the love of Jesus to us in the sacraments - and also, we should always commend our priests to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, that they may be found safe in the heart of Christ, and on fire with his love.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us! 
Sagrado Corazon de Jesus, ten piedad de nosotros! 

sacred made real

Just a thought or two this evening, since it's late...

I know I've mentioned a time or two on this blog how wonderful it is to have the experience of the "sacred made real" - which most often happens to me when I am doing something I routinely do - like going to Mass, for instance - and something unexpected happens (like the Pentecost Vigil liturgy a few weeks ago). That unexpected something shakes me back out of the "routine" activity I'm involved in, and reminds me again of the higher realities of God. It's easy to forget those profound realities, particularly those we experience in the Mass (can you say, "transubstantiation"?), because it's far too easy to become complacent and just kind of go through the motions.

I was thinking about this tonight, looking up at the cobalt blue sky of early night as I was driving home, and was struck by the thought that, in looking at that sky, I was experiencing the sacred made real in a different way - by God's hand, in his creation. The sheer enormity - and incredible detail - of the universe, from the stars and planets, all the way down to the tiniest organisms - are a reflection of God's hand, and another, different reminder of the sacred made real.

+Peace and good!

lost something?

In case you missed it, today is the feast day of St. Anthony of Padua... better known to many as the saint who helps you find stuff when you lose it! Yes, it's true - there's even a little prayer that some people pray when they need St. Anthony's help finding a lost item: "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come 'round, something's lost and must be found!" No joke, folks.

Personally, I can say that St. Anthony has helped me find things I've lost on multiple occasions.

But there's a lot more to St. Anthony than finding things that are lost. He was a Franciscan priest, and having joined the Franciscan order in its early years, he was also a contemporary of St. Francis. Born in Portugal, he eventually ended up in Padua, Italy, where he was well-loved, particularly for his preaching. He spoke extensively of the need for forgiveness, and against hatred - things that people of all times and places can benefit from hearing. And of course, being Franciscan, he was deeply devoted to the suffering Christ of the Passion.

As I was reading a bit about St. Anthony, I came across this quote, which I'll close with:

"Christians must lean on the cross of Christ, just as travelers lean on a staff when they begin a long journey. They must have the Passion of Christ deeply embedded in their minds and hearts, because only from it can they derive peace, grace, and truth."

St. Anthony, please pray for us, and not just when we're looking for our car keys!

+Pace, e bene.

sending rain upon the earth

"Elijah said to her... 'For the Lord, the God of Israel, says, 'The jar of flour shall not go empty, nor the jug of oil run dry, until the day when the Lord sends rain upon the earth.''" (1 Kings 17:14)

Suffering is hard. I think that goes without saying. And it poses hard questions that don't always have satisfying answers - or answers we aren't always ready for.

It's a great mystery of faith - rather like (and really, part of) the providence of God.

How hard would it have been for the widow to whom Elijah is speaking in this passage from 1 Kings to trust in the prophet's words - to trust in God's promise that the flour would not go empty, nor the oil run dry? She was in dire straits: running out of flour and oil, in a land stricken by drought - a widow with a son, running out of resources. She knew that she and her child would both die soon without more provisions. I can only imagine what she thought when this strange man Elijah arrived, asking her for food, and basically telling her everything would be okay. The depth of her reaction is not captured in the reading, but I'm sure she had to make a leap of faith to trust in his words. I know it would've taken a leap of faith for me.

She had suffered many miseries, knowing she was alone, with no one to provide for her and her son. Maybe she even asked, "Why?" -- wondering why such misfortune had befallen her - and had received no answer, while the flour in her jar dwindled.

When was the last time you asked, "Why?" - with regard to a difficult situation you've experienced in your family, or among your friends, or maybe at work or school. Perhaps you've asked that question, not about suffering in your own life, but about the suffering encountered by a parent, sibling, or friend. It's often much harder to watch loved ones suffer, than it is for us to endure our own suffering.

How often have we suffered, or watched loved ones suffer, and prayed and cried and begged God to send rain upon the earth - peace, healing, love, whatever was needed?

Sometimes, there are no satisfying answers to that question, "Why?" - that's certainly no reason not to ask the question - it's a question that arises naturally out of these things, and when we need to ask it, we should. But perhaps answering that question isn't always the point. Kind of like the way that, in so many journeys in life, the journey isn't about where we arrive so much as it is about the "getting there," the journey itself. It's the walk. It's what we learn about ourselves, about others, about God - and yes, certainly about the sufferings of Christ - in the midst of our trials.

Maybe, too, it's about learning to recognize that God always does "send rain upon the earth," though not always in the way, or at the time, we think it will (or should) happen.

+Peace and good.

"for he was a good man"

"When he arrived and saw the grace of God,

he rejoiced, and encouraged them all

to remain faithful to the Lord in firmness of heart,

for he was a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and faith."

Acts 11:23-24

A good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and faith. 


In comparison to the way our world today would describe a "good" person, it appears that the book of Acts understates things quite a bit in its description of St. Barnabas (whose feast is celebrated today) as a good man. Of course he was a good man, but his actions in life were more than good - they were rooted in heroic love: the love of Christ, which led him to be martyred for his faith.

The way popular culture defines a "good" person typically has absolutely nothing to do with being filled with the Holy Spirit, or having any kind of faith. One can be considered a good person for many reasons, and none of them may have anything to do with the presence and action of God in one's life - and indeed, there are plenty of good people in the world today who would not claim any kind of relationship with God - but they are people of good will who are committed to good things. So, in the modern sense, people who are "filled with the Holy Spirit and faith" are much more than good. People who are "good" in the sense that St. Barnabas was good are more like saints-in-training - they are those who show us, and remind us of, the saving power of God here on earth.

For those of us who do believe, and who do claim that relationship with God, hopefully we are trying to be good people - in more than the modern sense - working to be good in the way that St. Barnabas was good.

stopping traffic

Yo soy el pan de vida. I am the bread of life. (Jn. 6:35)

Most of you probably know that today is the feast of Corpus Christi - the Body and Blood of Christ.
There is so much that can be said about this day, and about our celebration of the gift of the Eucharist, but none of it can do justice to that perfect gift.

This evening, I was blessed to be a part of a Corpus Christi procession (in ABQ, of course) from Immaculate Conception to San Felipe de Neri. It was beautiful, and also historic - there hasn't been a Corpus Christi procession between these two churches in 55 years. (I didn't know that until I got to Immaculate Conception this evening!)

Corpus Christi processions are always wonderful: walking, singing, praying as a community of believers - with plenty of incense! It's a blessed experience to walk in procession with the Blessed Sacrament - to "take Jesus to the streets," as it were. This evening, that even involved a police escort stopping traffic so the procession could cross a major road!

Yeah, that's right: Jesus stopped traffic in Albuquerque tonight.
And he "stopped traffic" in the heart of every person who walked in that procession this evening - bringing peace, and order, and goodness, and healing, and all his good gifts, into our lives.
Wouldn't it be awesome if, in our walk with Christ - in our daily "procession" with him, we helped "stop traffic" more often? More figuratively than literally, of course - through the witness we bear to Christ through our lives? Through the way we live? Through the way we care for those around us? Maybe, just maybe, if through our lives, we share the love and compassion of Christ with others, we'll "stop traffic" - so Jesus can cross the road and walk into their lives.

Take our Lord to the streets. There's a world out there that desperately needs the hope, the love, the healing, the goodness, and every other good thing he brings. It doesn't do us, or anyone else, any good, if we keep Christ to ourselves. We who receive the Body of Christ - Corpus Christi - in the Eucharist - need to remember that we are also the Body of Christ - and as such, we need to take Jesus to the world.

+Peace, and all good, and a blessed feast of Corpus Christi!

I'll sign off for this evening with a photo as usual, but first, with words from one of my favorite Spanish hymns - and which has been a part of just about every Corpus Christi procession I've ever been part of, this evening included.

"Bendito, bendito, bendito sea Dios,

los ángeles cantan y alaban a Dios, 

los ángeles cantan y alaban a Dios... ... 

O cielo y tierra, decid a una voz, 

bendito por siempre, bendito sea Dios,

bendito por siempre, bendito sea Dios."

put me on the next plane, please!

I've been on travel for work all week long, blogging in the evenings from a hotel room with a not-so-great internet connection - on the edge of the Eastern time zone - two hours later than home. Eating food I didn't cook, getting ready in a bathroom that isn't mine, working out in your average hotel "fitness room," and generally being very glad that work doesn't require me to travel all that often. I couldn't live in a hotel room.

My flight back to ABQ is at 5:30 tomorrow morning (yes, that would be 3:30 NM time!) - and much as I hate getting up early, I wanted to be home by noon, and this was the best way I could find to do it. So, I'm already packed and ready to go, for the most part. All I have to do in the morning is change into jeans, t-shirt, and sandals, and throw my sweatshirt in my bag - traveling incognito again. ;)  (If you wondered why I wrote that post this week, now you know!)

Being away from home always makes me appreciate everything about home more. Since I need to get some sleep so I can actually make it out of this hotel room tomorrow morning and get back to the home I appreciate, I'm going to call it a night - and leave you with a thought:

For those of us who believe: does being away from our ultimate "home" (with God, in eternity) make us appreciate that home - though we don't know what it will be like - more?

I'd argue that it should.

Peace and good to all of you, my friends. I'll catch ya on the flip side - back in the Mountain time zone - sometime tomorrow.

"the space between"

"The space between the tears we cry 

is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more...

The space between the bullets in the firefight

is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you..."

-Dave Matthews Band, The Space Between

(Yes, apparently, I'm on a writing-about-song-lyrics kick for the second day in a row. You can read yesterday's here, if you missed it.)

"The space between the tears we cry is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more..."
This idea of the space between. Isn't it true? The spaces between the tough stuff, the hard times, the sadnesses - even though I completely believe we can find deep joy and peace even in those hard times (and sometimes, because of them) - it's the spaces between the hard things in life that keep us going, right?

Those spaces between keep us going, and keep "us coming back for more," when they are filled with joy and happiness, the light of the love of God and those around us.

They give us the fuel we need to head back out into the firefight.

But mostly, I think the space between keeps us going, and coming back for more, because harder times teach us how precious a refuge that space between really is. Life is never easy, but the spaces between the uphill and downhill slopes on the roller coaster ride - those spaces where we find some kind of peaceful equilibrium, or experience the wonderful highs of blessed relationships with family and friends - aren't those the things we miss, and the things we long for when we're on the uphill/downhill, barely hanging on, equilibrium thrown off?

The hard stuff, then... it's still hard, and that will never change. But what it teaches us makes it blessed and important, if we are willing to learn.

+Peace, and all good.

some kind of nerve

"I found God on the corner of First and Amistad

Where the west was all but won

All alone, smoking his last cigarette

I said, 'Where've you been?'

He said, 'Ask anything.'

Where were you when everything was falling apart?

All my days spent by a telephone that never rang, 

and all I needed was a call, that never came, 
to the corner of First and Amistad.

Lost and insecure, you found me.

You found me lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you? 

Where were you?

Just a little late, you found me, you found me... ...

Early morning, the city breaks. 

I've been calling for years and years and years, 

and you never left me no messages;

you never send me no letters.

You got some kind of nerve, taking all our love... "

The Fray, You Found Me

I love this song, but it's one of those songs that makes me cringe a little bit sometimes, when I realize how often I have stood in the point of view of the singer - asking God, "Where've you been? Where were you when everything was falling apart?"

You know, I've been calling on you forever about this prayer intention or that situation, or whatever, but you never gave me an answer - "you never send me no letters." How often do we feel this way? How often do we wonder, when we're praying for an intention, praying for resolution to some situation in our lives, or when we're suffering through some trial that seems like it will never end - how often do we wonder how long that "letter" - that answer from God - is going to take? 

It reminds me of the darknesses I've encountered, and my inability to move forward in faith, even in the dark. It reminds me of my selfishness, only wanting one answer to a prayer, unwilling to hear "no," "not yet," or, "I have something better planned for you."

Then, it reminds me of the anger. "Why'd you have to wait?" Why did you make me wait so long - why did you test my limits, why did you let me break? Why did you let me hurt? Why did I have to go through that? In the last several years, instead of being steered by faith and trust, I became intensely angry about several things. It took me a long time to let that anger go - it's taken even longer to understand why some of those things had to happen. There are still some I may never fully comprehend, though I understand now that being angry about them, or asking those "whys" all the time won't get me anywhere but miserable. Maybe that was the point - that there's just not always a good answer for my tiny human mind. Sometimes God's answers are, like him, too big for us to comprehend.

"You got some kind of nerve, taking all our love..."
Yeah... the nerve? That's pretty ironic... the nerve? The nerve of a creator who doesn't need us or our love, but who created us anyway, knowing what we'd do? The nerve of someone who still gave us all his love? The nerve of someone who doesn't "take" all our love, but who gave us his heart, bleeding and pierced?

The nerve of someone who knows that if we are going to follow him, it will require - it will "take" - all our love to do it, because it took all of his love to save us?

No, I think we're the ones who have the nerve. The nerve to question. The nerve to turn away. Or the nerve to follow.
Besides, the title of the song is wrong. He didn't find us. He didn't have to. He was already there. We opened our eyes and finally saw him - we "found" him, and continue to find him in new ways if we have the nerve to believe, and to follow.

+Peace, and all good.

one in 7.018 billion

"We are not some casual and meaningless byproduct of evolution. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary." - Pope Benedict XVI

Each of us is 1 in 7.018 billion. Unique, unrepeatable. Worth valuing. Worth caring for, worth caring about - and that works all 7.018 billion other ways, too.

When you feel small, and insignificant, like nothing you do will ever matter, or make a real impact, or be worth remembering, remember that, just as you are only 1 of the 7.018 billion people on earth - you ARE 1 of the 7.018 billion people on earth - because you were willed by God. You are loved, you are necessary.

When you get impatient and frustrated with yourself, wanting to be a part of something greater, wanting to make that great impact, to do things worth remembering, remember that God put you here for a reason... even if you don't yet know or understand what mission he has entrusted you with. Then ask him to show you that reason, to prepare you for that mission - to make you ready to advance the Gospel in this world, and bring God's love to his people.

+Peace, and all good.

incognito

When I travel, I do everything I can to be comfortable. I'm not a big fan of trekking through security (really, who is??), and scurrying through airports between flights, so I always figure I might as well be comfortable doing it: jeans, a t-shirt, and slip-on sandals. Little or no makeup. Collegiate sweatshirt stuffed in my backpack, at the ready to keep me from freezing to death on a cold airplane.

I must not appear anything like what most people expect a scientist to look like, because more often than not, when I end up chatting with fellow travelers, they seem surprised to find out that I "do science" for a living. Maybe they think I'm still in college (or maybe I'm flattering myself!). Maybe it's because I definitely don't make any attempt at looking "professional" when I know my destiny for the day is to be stuck in an aircraft-grade aluminum can at 35,000 feet. Or maybe it's because I don't look like the stereotypical scientist - no highwater pants or pocket protectors here!

It's like going incognito. People have no idea who you are or what you are about - all they have are their perceptions, their ideas of who and what they think you are. Sometimes, they may be right, but most of the time, they're probably not. In a sense, we all go incognito, all the time - because we inevitably encounter people we don't know, and who don't know us - perhaps on a daily basis.

Sometimes, God presents us with great opportunities through this - great opportunities to surprise someone by being a witness to grace and goodness - providing us great opportunities to evangelize, whether in word or deed - or at least, an opportunity to break through someone's misperceptions.

How often have you been surprised to find out that someone was not at all what you had sized them up to be? How did you react when you discovered your misperception? Did it make you think? Did it make you reconsider the way you look at those around you? Or, have you been on the other end of someone's misperceptions?

It's easy to prejudge those around us based on their appearances, or the stereotypes that are, to some extent, programmed into our brains. I know, because not only has it happened to me, but I have also done it many times, myself - and have been reminded that it's something I must be more mindful of.

Often, we don't know who the person next to us is, where they're coming from, or what battles they may be fighting. Regardless of our preconceived ideas, we owe them respect and dignity, as fellow children of God - just as we would want to be treated with respect and dignity, and not subjected to another's preconceived ideas about us.

You never know what impact you might have on their life... or what impact they might have on yours.

After all, even angels go incognito sometimes. You never know who that person next to you in the airport, or on the bus, or in the restaurant, might really be.

+Peace, and all good.

trinity and mystery

The mystery of the Holy Trinity is definitely exactly that... a mystery. We're probably all familiar with St. Patrick's brilliant use of the three-leaf clover to explain the idea of three distinct Persons in one God to the people of Ireland. It was an inspired illustration, to be sure, but it only goes so far - we really can't comprehend the mystery of the triune God fully.

Our inability to comprehend this mystery makes sense: we are creatures bound in time and space. God is bound by neither. How could we possibly understand such true unboundedness when we ourselves have no experience of it? (Hint: we can't!) I liked the way Fr. Tim put it at Mass this morning - "God doesn't fit in our heads." And if God doesn't fit in our heads, the only place he will fit, is in our hearts.

Kind of perfect how that fits into the call we receive as Christians to bring the love and light of God, everywhere we go, to everyone we meet, right? Playing on an analogy used by St. Athanasius, when we bring God to others, we bring the light of Christ - and where this light is, there is also the radiance of the Spirit, and the power of the Father.

changing lives

People who make a difference in our lives. Hopefully, we all have them.

People who tell us what we need to hear, when we don't want to hear it... or perhaps when we don't know what we need to hear.

People who bring us joy and peace - who show us la Divina Luz - the Divine Light - the Light of Christ.

They challenge us, they inspire us, they help us grow, and sometimes, they hold us up when we can't stand on our own.

They don't change our lives - GOD changes our lives through them.

If you're reading this, you are one of those people for me, whether we know each other offline or not. The fact that you continue to read this keeps me writing it, and God continues to change my life through the journey otherwise known as... writing this blog. If you know me offline, it's a fair bet that God has changed my life by your presence in it in some other way, too. Whether it's either and/or both: thank you.

And hopefully, we are open to being instruments of God's changing love in the lives of those who have impacted us, too - it certainly isn't a one-way street.

+Peace, and all good.

living in the third day

"To the one who is able to keep you from stumbling

and to present you unblemished and exultant, 

in the presence of his glory, 

to the only God, our Savior, 

through Jesus Christ our Lord, 

be glory, majesty, power, and authority, 

from ages past, now, and for ages to come. Amen."

Jude 24-25

Unblemished and exultant in the presence of God's glory. We can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. First, because of the sins that blemish our souls, thanks to the sinful tendencies of our fallen human nature - and secondly, because we cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to be in the presence of God's glory.

Then, in combination... whoa... to be in the presence of God, unblemished?!?! Indeed, that would be an exultant moment - having fought the good fight, having "finished the race," as St. Paul says.

Finishing the race. As I sometimes find myself discussing with friends, it's not about how fast we run, or how often we have to slow down and walk (whether in our spiritual lives, or in running, or school, or whatever) - it's about getting it done. Slow and steady finishes - and in a very certain sense, wins - the race.

What do I mean? It's easy to get impatient with ourselves when we mess up, or just don't do as well as we think we should have, and to beat ourselves up over it. Believe me, I know. Oh, do I know - I am forever guilty of this. Developing patience-with-self can be so difficult. Learning to live in hope, trusting the One who keeps us from stumbling is hard, too. I was told by a wise priest several weeks ago to practice "living in the third day," in other words, to live in hope, to work through failings with patience, one step at a time, and anticipating what is to come - what that third day means - resurrection, new life.

We may not know exactly how we'll get there, but let us strive for the ultimate "third day" - when we will stand unblemished and exultant, before the glory of God.

+Peace, and all good. And cheers for post number 101! One hundred and one! God is good.